Episode 2

When Women Ask for Help—And Give It: Hot Mess Express x Joyful Support Movement Partnership

What if asking for help wasn't shameful—it was celebrated? Discover how this nonprofit is changing the way women support each other.

In this episode, hosts Lacey and Sara sit down with Brittinie Tran, President of Hot Mess Express, to talk about the nonprofit that's helping women across the country through cleaning and organizing—with zero judgment. They also announce an exciting new partnership: Hot Mess Express is joining forces with Joyful Support Movement's Village platform to provide ongoing peer-to-peer support for nominees and volunteers.

What You'll Learn:

  • How Hot Mess Express started from one mom's vulnerable Facebook post—and grew into a nationwide movement
  • Why asking for help is actually the bravest thing you can do as a woman
  • The mutual support model: how volunteers get as much from missions as the women they help
  • How to join Hot Mess Express (volunteer, nominate yourself, or start your own affiliate)
  • The partnership between Hot Mess Express and Joyful Support Movement's Village platform

Guest: Brittinie Tran, President of Hot Mess Express—a women-led nonprofit with chapters across the United States serving women through cleaning and organizing with zero judgment.

The Partnership:

Joyful Support Movement is providing the Village platform to Hot Mess Express at no charge. This creates a bridge between in-person mission support and ongoing online peer-to-peer community—a safe space for connection without trolls or judgment.

Helpful Links:

Connect with us:

Connect with Joyful Support Movement:


Transcript
Lacey:

welcome to No Shame in Our Game where self-help meets community support.

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Just a quick, , message from

editing Lacey, we were going to have

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this episode come out before our

rebranding to No Shame in our game,

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but then decided, we are too excited.

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And by we, I mean me, and

we did the rebrand first.

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This episode and our partnership

in general with Hot Mess Express,

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actually is one of the things

that inspired our rebrand.

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So we wanted to make sure it

came out as no shame in our game.

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same great conversation, , just with

even less shame in any game, whether

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it's ours or home, it doesn't matter.

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Okay, here we go.

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I am Lacey, your very excited co-host

today with what I'm pretty sure is also

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my other co-host who's very excited.

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Sarah.

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Hi Sarah.

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Sara: Hi Lacey.

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I'm always excited to see

you, but you're right.

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I have an extra zipped this

morning, but I also feel like

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I wanna own full disclosure.

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I never know what clips are

gonna end up on social media.

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So if there's a video of this,

I haven't washed my face.

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I am still in my morning walking clothes.

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But I was like, you know what?

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I always have to remind myself I

have to practice what we preach here.

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no shame

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Lacey: Nope.

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Sara: showing up.

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It's not about the looks.

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It's about the

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Lacey: What about the pills?

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Sara: so happy that I was able

to jump on this call with you at

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this moment when you reached out.

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yeah,

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Lacey: Yeah.

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Sara: feels, not the looks.

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Lacey: Yeah.

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We are working with a violet, , nap time

here, so we gotta take it when we can.

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Sara: I would rather show up and

be present with you looking like.

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I am versus having gotten

ready and then missing the

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window of opportunity with you.

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So

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anyone listening, if you're hesitant about

having that friend over 'cause your house

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isn't picked up, just have them over,

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Lacey: we have wanted this

episode for probably a year now.

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Today we talked to Brittany.

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Tran and it's Brittany, I realized

when I was reading her name 'cause it,

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there's an extra IN in there and I'm

like, oh, I've been saying it wrong.

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Brittany Tran, from Hot Mess Express,

she's the president of Hot Mess

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Express, which is a nonprofit that does.

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Like literally what we hope we could

do of going into people's homes and

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helping them get their lives in order.

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. You're gonna hear us talk about it.

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We love it so much.

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I saw it on social media, send

it to Sarah and was like, we

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need to work with these people.

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And we are.

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So you're gonna hear about our

upcoming partnership with them.

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I have never felt more aligned in that we

are doing the right thing and that this

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is what we're supposed to be doing ever.

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This just feels so

important and we're excited.

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Sara: Yeah.

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On that note, if.

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People who've been listening

from the beginning.

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We had an expert Erin on, and she is

my coach and she talks about going to

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that thing that feels good, that higher

vibration, like what excites you.

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That's what it is.

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What excites you?

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And when I learned about Hot Mess

Express, that excitement was off

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the charts when we started emailing

with Brittany off the charts and then

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we're working on our collaboration

together and it's full body goosebumps.

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Like it couldn't be clearer that

this is full excitement because it's

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aligning our mission in a way that

we aren't able to do, but we can

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support somebody who's doing the work.

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Lacey: well let's, take this

excitement and move into our chat

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with Brittany and Sarah I will

be back at the end of the episode

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Welcome to No Shame in the Home Game.

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We are so excited to have, our

guest today and something we've

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been working on for almost a year

now that is coming to fruition.

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Sara: I know, I'm so excited.

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I'm, I've got like little bubbles

of joy coming up like in my body.

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Lacey: Scent

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Sara: Effervescent.

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Thank you Lacey, with the win

on the communication Thank

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Lacey: I'm here for.

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but we have Brittany

from Hot Mess Express.

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Hi, Brittany.

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Brittinie: Hello.

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I'm so excited to be here and talk

about hot mess and joyful support.

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Lacey: Introduce yourself

to our listeners.

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Brittinie: I am Brittney Tran.

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I am president of Hot Mess

Express, an organization that

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helps women in their communities.

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I am, new to North Carolina and, ever

since I got here, been just trying

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to find my people, find my village.

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And, it's been a journey, but

I feel like I finally have,

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Lacey: new to North Carolina.

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Brittinie: I'm originally

from Illinois, but we

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Lacey: Okay.

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Brittinie: California.

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we took a camper and we

did a year traveling from

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California to North Carolina,

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Lacey: Oh my gosh.

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Well, you are way more

interesting than me.

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Brittinie: or crazy.

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I don't know.

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We had three young kids and dogs,

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Lacey: The thought of being in a camper

for a night makes me wanna throw up.

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You are amazing.

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Way to go.

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Sara: Can I just give a shout

out to three Midwestern gals?

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Lacey: know.

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Brittinie: we always find our

people, like I feel like we always

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find other Midwestern people.

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No matter what state I'm in, we always

somehow connect and find each other,

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Lacey: Ohio is the Midwest.

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So Ohio is, it's really interesting.

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It like turns from the east to the west.

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So like Cleveland is a bit more of

like your, more like eastern seaboard

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type city, but still Midwestern.

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And then, as you go across, it

gets more Midwestern, I would say.

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Which I'm on the complete, Western side.

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So I'm totes Midwestern with a

little bit of Southern, honestly.

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'cause I was born in West Virginia,

spent some time in Kentucky, so I

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got a little bit of that in there.

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But yeah.

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Midwestern gals.

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Brittinie: find each other.

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I'm telling you, we

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Lacey: Yeah.

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Brittinie: I don't know.

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Lacey: Yeah.

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Sara: your intro, Brittany.

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I wanna know a little bit more about you.

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If you had a free hour to do whatever

brought you joy, what would you do?

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Brittinie: I would, if I had a free

hour, it would be outside by the water

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with a book that's my happy place.

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I love the sound of the waves and

the book and just to get lost in,

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Sara: I.

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Brittinie: rare that I get to

like fully focus and read a book.

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I think I would be a lot better if I

could just start every day with one hour

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just by myself on the beach with a book,

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Lacey: That's what I daydream

about my lifelong goal is to buy

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a house on a lake so that I can

start every morning by water.

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I'm a Pisces, so it's

very ingrained in me.

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Brittinie: I'm a cancer,

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Lacey: Yeah, totally.

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Sara: I

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Lacey: I.

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Sara: yes, that's my perfect dream too.

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Okay.

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Now, Halloween costume.

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What's been your favorite one

you've ever worn or one that

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you've always wanted to wear?

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Brittinie: Okay, I am, an overthinker

and that tends to, get in my way when it

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comes to Halloween because every single

year, this is such a lame answer to

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your question, but it's just the truth.

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Every single year I get in my head,

I'm like, this is gonna be the year.

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I'm gonna have such a killer

costume, and I'm gonna do it.

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I start thinking of all these unique

things, but then I get so in my

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head about it that I do nothing,

and then by the time it comes, I

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throw together what I have on hand.

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I actually threw a Halloween party

last year and I told everybody,

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you have to dress up and really

dress up, put in the effort.

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And then they all came and

they, they totally did awesome.

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And I literally had no time.

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So I put on a blue hoodie and had

my kids write a sign that said,

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from, mean Girls, you know where it

has the, you don't go here and put,

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Lacey: She doesn't go here.

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Brittinie: they were not happy that

was, that's what they were met with.

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Sara: I actually feel like that's

a really great transition into the

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organization that you work with.

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Hot Mess Express 'cause, right?

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You had all these good intentions,

you had a vision for how it was

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gonna be, and then life happened

and it became something else.

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So on the heels of that, can you

tell us a little bit more about Hot

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Hotness Express, its foundation.

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Its purpose.

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Its mission,

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Brittinie: Yeah, absolutely.

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I love that because I personally see

myself as someone who really lives the

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brand, so Haas Express is a nonprofit.

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we have affiliates across the country

and we help the women in our communities

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through cleaning and organizing.

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we work right alongside them and help

them to just get their space back.

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it's really meant for women who, have

something come up in their life and their

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house falls secondary, and that can be,

maybe your postpartum or maybe you had,

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an illness in the family, or your husband

had to take on a second job, whatever

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it might be, that support has gone down.

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your house, it's just not the priority.

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And you fall behind and then

it gets to a point where you're

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like, I don't know where to start.

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and so we come in and we try and

get you back to where you were so

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that you can take it from there.

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Sara: I love that for so many

reasons and people who listen

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know, I started in home management.

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That's what I do with my clients.

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And I always say managing a home is

a full-time job, but we forget that.

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And so when you don't have time

for that full-time job, it quickly

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becomes something you did not intend.

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It's not like you intend

for the chaos to unfold.

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It's no, if you don't have 40 hours a

week to devote to managing your house.

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That's what happens.

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Can you tell me in our audience, what

was the origin story of Hot Mess Express?

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Brittinie: Yeah, so it actually

started, a mom had posted in just

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a Facebook mom's group and she was

like, I have nothing else in me.

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My house is a disaster.

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I just had a baby.

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My husband is gone.

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He's a truck driver.

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He is gone all the time.

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we have no money to pay

a cleaning person, but.

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I just have nothing else.

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So she was asking for, affordable

options for a house cleaner but there

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was something, bigger than that, right?

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She just needed some support.

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about eight of us ended up coming

together and we showed up and we just

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brought the stuff we had on hand.

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we made a trip to the dollar

store, picked up some basics and

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just showed up at their door.

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We kicked 'em out, told

'em, go have a fun day.

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'cause they had little kids and

if you've ever tried cleaning with

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little kids, you might as well not.

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And they went to the park,

they had a great day, and, we

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cleaned that house top to bottom.

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we did all the things we pulled

out, she had just had a baby.

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So we had organized all the clothes,

we got all that up to speed.

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got all the toys, all organized.

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She was in the middle of kind of

transitioning her kids In a room.

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So like that was, you know how

it goes, it's like half done

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and then something comes up.

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So we finished that.

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we did the deep cleaning, that

stuff that just who has the time?

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so we did the windows and all of that.

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and then we also saw like the fridge.

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The fridge was pretty empty.

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And we were like, has time?

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It's like to grocery shop.

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She's a new mom.

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So we went, we had been able to put

together some donations just from

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people who were excited about it.

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And we filled the fridge,

we got the crockpot going.

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And so when they came in,

it was sparkling clean.

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The fridge was full, things were

organized and in their place, and dinner

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was cooking she walked in, like you

could just see, you can see that just

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melt the stress, just melt off of her.

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and the just look of just relief.

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And it was like that moment where

we looked at each other and we were

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like, this is gonna be something big.

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Like we have to do this again.

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This was such a dopamine rush.

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We were like, we have

to, we gotta do more.

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So that was the first one

and then it just took off.

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we had a couple others in the area.

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it went viral and then they started

popping up around the country.

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people just wanting to do the same thing

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Sara: My gosh, I, Lacey, I don't

know about you, but I'm actually

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like holding back the tears because

I'm like, I don't wanna become a

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bawling mess, but like you're that.

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Feeling of having those angels come, one

of the angels come in and do all that.

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what I also love about that origin story,

and we talk about this with joyful support

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movement, is that moment of vulnerability

is what opens the door to magic.

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We often, as women, especially, I mean

I can only speak from the perspective

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of a woman, but I just, I know others

and myself, it's to admit you need help.

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Sometimes we're taught somehow

subconsciously through society that we're

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not supposed to, especially as moms.

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I feel like moms are

supposed to be made of steel.

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We're supposed to be like indomitable.

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And know for me, people who have listened,

have heard my origin story with the Onion.

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asking for help is such

a mountain to climb.

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But once you do, like with this

woman, all of a sudden it opened

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this flood gates, not only to her

house, but now to how many people.

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How many people have you worked with?

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What do you call the people

whose homes you go into?

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Brittinie: so they nominate themselves.

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We've called them nominees.

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we call them that because they, we

encourage them to nominate themselves

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and, you can nominate anyone as

well, and that's always wonderful.

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but we really push to nominate yourself

because, exactly to your point, it's so

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hard for us as women to ask for help.

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that we are, we've created this safe

space where we are literally begging

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you to ask for the help that you need.

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and so that, hopefully it gives you

that empowerment to just admit that

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you are not super woman and you can't

do every single thing by yourself.

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that you are supposed to

have a village around you.

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And we just lost the way of that.

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Somewhere along the line.

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Lacey: Also, so one of the things about

Joyful Support that I appreciate so much,

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so part of our origin is that Sara, joyful

support came from Sara and I's Friendship,

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partnership, whatever you wanna call

it, because she got something from

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supporting me and I got something from

her supporting me, and then vice versa.

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And so that's one of the other things that

I like about Hot Mess Express, is that the

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people who give support are also getting

so much out of it and that it's through

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that mutual support there's just so much

joy and so much that comes out like I am,

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I'm getting so much out of it and I'm just

a lady sitting here, not anywhere near it.

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So I just, I think that's one of the

things that we often forget about support

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is that yes, it's hard to ask for it.

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We feel like we're taking advantage,

but the reality is everybody's

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getting something out of it,

so don't feel so bad about it.

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Brittinie: Absolutely.

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it is so true.

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Like it's one of those things where it's

to be honest, like it is a little selfish.

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'cause I'm telling you I hadn't been

on a mission in a bit because I'm

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doing a lot of the behind the scenes.

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one came up where I had it worked

with my schedule recently, and

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I was like, I just miss it.

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Like I wanna go.

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And so I ended up going and I

was like, gosh, like I feel so.

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Refreshed.

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I spent four hours with a bunch of

women that just fill each other's cup.

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Like the whole day is just, we're venting

and we're laughing and we're like, talking

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about like shared stories and man, like

my kid, like I can't even my husband

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this, We just talk and get it all out.

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and it's just such an

enjoyable experience.

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And then at the end of that, we get to

have this moment where this woman sees

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her house for the first time, sees it put

together, has this emotional, thank you.

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She's so excited.

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And, we can see that

firsthand what we did.

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So that's just like the cherry

on top of everything else.

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but I left feeling like I hung out

with my friends, it felt like lunch

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with my girls, And just need that.

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We need that more than we realize.

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Lacey: It's also so much

better to clean somebody else's

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house than to clean your own.

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I don't know why, like it

doesn't feel like a burden.

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It's like when my kids go over to

somebody else's house and they're

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like, look at all these toys.

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I'm like, you don't play with

your toys at home, but fine.

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Brittinie: I talk about that all the time

because I feel like when you're cleaning

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your own house, it's so repetitive.

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it's like the same cup and the same

cabinet and the same toy and the same

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cup, and it's the same old thing.

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And then when you go somewhere

else, it's oh, it's a fresh space,

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Let's see what we can do here.

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Plus a lot of us like to joke that.

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when we leave in our heads,

it stays that way forever.

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Lacey: That is beautiful.

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That would be great.

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Sara: When I work in people's

homes, that's why I say I like

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doing it with other people.

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There's no emotional attachment

when I walk in and I don't have to

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watch it be destroyed afterwards.

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first of all, I'm picturing

everything you're talking about and

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how it's this web of connection,

all these touch points, right?

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Of being vulnerable and giving support

and this is like this huge patchwork

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quilt, at the same time, AI is becoming

such a force in our country or in

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the world, and AI is the opposite.

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It is that point of one point

of contact between a human and.

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A computer and I'm like, oh my gosh.

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It's like that's happening.

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And at the same time, we're also

needing more and more of this

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connection that you're talking

about, which is how's used to thrive.

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That's what it used to be like.

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And we still need it and women should run

the world because that is so beautiful

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and is also the definition of a joy

ripple, which is like now that you went

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in there and helped that person, you

all walk away with that rush of joy.

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And then the person inside the

house, she might have a little bit

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more bandwidth to give a little

bit more grace to her children.

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Her children might have a little

bit more like joy in their hearts

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when they go to school or when they

go when you go out to the grocery.

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Like That creates that ripple of joy

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Brittinie: That's so beautiful.

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I love that.

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Sara: Oh yeah, because, and that's

what we always say here at Joyful

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Support, it's the 1%, like if you can

go out in the world a 1% more like

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cup filled, then maybe you're gonna

hold that door or smile at a stranger.

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But if you're completely drained by your

house and you go out in the world a little

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bit grumpier, maybe you honk your horn.

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And so I am like, I'm so

overjoyed about Haas Express.

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I'm already envisioning the day I

get to go and help with missions.

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Like I'm so excited.

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Brittinie: I love it and

I love that perspective.

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Like we, I, like I said, I

had never thought about that.

373

:

I'm so excited to go back

and share that with my team.

374

:

'cause that's such a great

way of looking at it.

375

:

I love it.

376

:

And to touch on what you were talking

about, that need of community,

377

:

that's something that, I speak

on a lot because we went through

378

:

this period with COVID and stuff.

379

:

We were more isolated and it is just

not good for us to not be able to see

380

:

or hear stories from other women because

then that's how we get so in our head,

381

:

like when you're just in your home and

you're only comparing yourself to what in

382

:

front of you or what is online, you get.

383

:

So misconstrued and what reality is.

384

:

and by just going to these missions,

hearing the other women talk about

385

:

the struggles with their families

and their kids and their lives,

386

:

it just validates you and makes

you realize this is a valid thing.

387

:

We're all struggling with it.

388

:

it's not 'cause I'm lazy or a horrible

wife or housekeeper or any of that.

389

:

It's just because, It's hard.

390

:

Everyone is saying it's hard, so it must

be hard, and that is something we need.

391

:

We need to hear that.

392

:

Sara: if we all opened our front

doors at the same time, no prep.

393

:

No warning, If we just all opened

our doors at the same time and we're

394

:

honest, we would feel a lot freaking

better because we would see what

395

:

reality day to day is not what's

online, not what people are presenting

396

:

Lacey: I got something else just popped in

my head that I had not thought of before.

397

:

my brain has been working

on friendship a lot.

398

:

But friendship and community, and

I think we often think we have to

399

:

have friendship to have community.

400

:

this is a way to have community

without worrying about friendship.

401

:

'cause there's friendship is a

bit of a barrier in a lot of ways.

402

:

you don't have to like someone

to go and be in community with

403

:

them in this type of experience.

404

:

oh, what a beautiful way to

have a lower bar of entry.

405

:

There's a nicer way of saying that

to community, of just showing up and

406

:

being like, I'm here because you're

a person, I'm a person and we're in

407

:

the same community and I want you to

be successful because you're here.

408

:

Brittinie: And I think

that's such a good point.

409

:

that is probably what holds

people back a little bit.

410

:

you can see someone

struggling and just help them.

411

:

and that doesn't mean that you are

now obligated to have this long-term

412

:

relationship where you're, keeping

up to date on all their life stuff

413

:

Like I know that there comes a point

where you're like, I have all the

414

:

relationships I can maintain at a

healthy point, I can't take that, but

415

:

that doesn't mean that you can't step

in, there's something to be said of

416

:

just seeing someone who's struggling and

they're a part of your community we talk

417

:

a lot about a village needs villagers.

418

:

just being a villager doesn't

mean you have to be, best friends.

419

:

You can just help.

420

:

Sara: And that is such, again,

a beautiful transition point.

421

:

We brought Brittany on today

to talk about Hot Mess Express

422

:

because, and we're so excited.

423

:

hot Mess Express is partnering with

joyful support movement we have the

424

:

online village platform and that

is like we're talking about right

425

:

here, it's peer-to-peer support.

426

:

it's when sometimes your friendships,

it's not quite what you need.

427

:

Paid support, maybe can't get to it all

the time, but that 24 7 peer-to-peer

428

:

support, you show up and you give what

you can and you take what you need.

429

:

And just like what we're saying

here, it's not about being best

430

:

friends with everyone in the village.

431

:

It's not about feeling

obligated to be drained.

432

:

So what we're providing is.

433

:

Hames Express goes into

these nominees homes.

434

:

They do this amazing in-person

work, and then they always felt

435

:

like they needed else to give.

436

:

Joyful Support Movement is providing

this space for not only the nominees,

437

:

but anyone who runs these programs,

anyone who works with Hot Mess Express

438

:

to come into this online platform

that we've created, and to be able

439

:

to talk about those struggles.

440

:

Ask questions, celebrate wins.

441

:

Hey, if you get your kid to eat

a vegetable, Don't you want that

442

:

little Hey, guess what I did today?

443

:

It feels good to celebrate the wins with

others and it feels good to, like you

444

:

said, when you're doing those projects and

you're like saying, ah, I'm so frustrated

445

:

about sometimes you just wanna be heard.

446

:

And so the village is where people can

be seen and heard and asked questions.

447

:

And so we're providing that next

step of support and we're so excited.

448

:

Brittinie: what a perfect

partnership though.

449

:

Like I think so many women are, they get

to this point where they're stuck and

450

:

they need that initial help just to get

them back to where they were or get them

451

:

to a point where they feel like, okay.

452

:

I can see it, I can see a path

and I can take it from here.

453

:

and then, you get 'em to that point, but

we don't want them to fall back into that.

454

:

We don't want it to come back again.

455

:

so that they're back to drowning.

456

:

and so to be able to partner with you

guys and have that support so that not

457

:

only can they get that fresh start,

take a breath, have a break, but they

458

:

have the tools that they need so that

they can continue, and hopefully,

459

:

maintain and not get to a point where

they're right back to where they were.

460

:

Which, at some point in life

it could very well happen.

461

:

Things come up, but like on the day

to day, just to have the knowledge and

462

:

tools and support is just so helpful.

463

:

Lacey: A friend of mine sent me

one of your guys' videos I think

464

:

it was Jen Hamilton's, of going

in and doing a mission and she

465

:

was like, Lacey, you'll love this.

466

:

I saw it and I sent it

immediately to Sara.

467

:

I was like, I don't know how, but

we need to work with these people.

468

:

This is exactly like, it just was Perfect

and aligned because part of the village is

469

:

we want it to be a very practical space,

but we can't be in everyone's homes.

470

:

We don't have money to send cleaners

to people, homes, that kind of thing.

471

:

But to know that people are getting

that support and then they can

472

:

come to the village and continue

to get support, it's like, why

473

:

Sara and I keep trying to not cry?

474

:

'cause it's just so what

we wanna see in the world.

475

:

Brittinie: It is.

476

:

and it's true for us, we wanted to be

able to continue, to what we were talking

477

:

about earlier about friendships and stuff.

478

:

Like ideally we would be friends

all of these women and have

479

:

these deep bonds and continued,

but realistically, we're helping

480

:

thousands of women around the country.

481

:

and so we don't want, the idea of it

being just a one and done kind of thing.

482

:

that's not what a village is.

483

:

A village is continued support

and, a safe space ongoing.

484

:

And so to be able to finally be in a place

to offer that, it's just so exciting.

485

:

it feels bright, like such a great fit.

486

:

Sara: on that note of safe space, when I

envisioned this village and Lacey and I

487

:

were discussing it, I'd always envisioned

this as alternative to social media.

488

:

It's like that interaction that

let's talk about what's going on.

489

:

But with these safe walls if you're

having a bad day, you're not gonna

490

:

have a troll who makes it even worse.

491

:

Or if you're celebrating, you're

not gonna have somebody who comes

492

:

in and like reigns on your parade.

493

:

putting it inside this safe boundary,

like we said, being vulnerable, it's

494

:

like you wanna do it in that safe space.

495

:

and that's why it's there.

496

:

we don't have to be friends with all these

people, but we can have that peer-to-peer

497

:

support and we can support one another.

498

:

And guess what we're changing

the world for the better.

499

:

Brittinie: Absolutely.

500

:

Sara: Yes.

501

:

Brittinie: we're changing the mindset.

502

:

one of the hardest things for us

is honestly finding nominations.

503

:

Like finding women who are

willing to ask for the help.

504

:

a lot of times they have it in their

mind that oh, my house doesn't look

505

:

like, a tornado came through it.

506

:

You know, so I don't need the help,

but, you know, maybe it feels like that.

507

:

Maybe it feels like that to you and

that's valid, changing that mindset And

508

:

then also, like we talked about asking

for help, that is something that is so

509

:

ingrained in us, That's something that's

gonna take a long time to cycle out.

510

:

and to stop making that the norm

that, no, I'll just handle it.

511

:

it should be the norm to admit,

you need help, ask for help, and it

512

:

should be the norm that you get it.

513

:

that's the other part of it.

514

:

and without the judgment,

that's a huge part for Hot Mess

515

:

is that we genuinely mean it.

516

:

There is no judgment at all.

517

:

We are not here to do that.

518

:

We are just here to help.

519

:

shifting the whole mindset

is what, the goal is.

520

:

And I think us coming together

and working together is just such

521

:

a great step forward for that.

522

:

it just feels like the right

move and I think that it's gonna

523

:

really start making that change.

524

:

the more women that hear about

it, we've helped almost 300

525

:

women this year, with missions.

526

:

And I think to myself

that's 300 women that.

527

:

Very well have not had the support,

have not been able to ask for help.

528

:

just gonna keep growing from here.

529

:

Lacey: Especially since, I think one of

the other things that we keep seeing in

530

:

our society when it comes to this village

aspect is that people move, there are

531

:

jobs, people are a lot more transient.

532

:

They're not living in the house,

the homes when they, that they

533

:

grew up and that kind of stuff.

534

:

Then you can be anywhere and have

this village, but I also love that

535

:

there are affiliates so you can

go to a new place and be a part

536

:

of that affiliate where it is.

537

:

So I think It's just so cool.

538

:

Brittinie: I love it too because,

one of the things, like some

539

:

people think that we help moms,

which moms are in the thick of it.

540

:

So we do help a lot of moms.

541

:

but the tools that you guys are providing

and like the missions that we do, all of

542

:

that can go to women across the board.

543

:

Like you don't have to have kids.

544

:

we had a mission for a college student

the other day, like she moved into her

545

:

apartment and didn't have anybody, and

so asked for some help, like just getting

546

:

situated and like, how cool is that?

547

:

And then another one, the same month

helped an elderly woman whose kids had

548

:

moved out and she just had no one to

help her with maintaining her home and

549

:

needed it to get a, fixed up a little bit.

550

:

that is what this is about.

551

:

It's like all of these things are

for women all across the board

552

:

at any parts of life, I just feel

at any point you need support.

553

:

Sometimes you just need your village.

554

:

Sara: I just got tingles again.

555

:

Lacey: Have you heard of

synchronicity of things popping

556

:

up in the same, in different ways?

557

:

So I was reading, a book

yesterday about intuition.

558

:

And how women's intuition, it

became a thing because of like

559

:

witches being outlined, da.

560

:

But she talked a lot about how cross

generational women's friendships

561

:

and interactions actually really

build women's intuition and like

562

:

ability to trust themselves.

563

:

So to hear you say that, I'm

like, oh, killing it there.

564

:

Build an intuition.

565

:

Brittinie: our volunteers range in age, I

566

:

Lacey: Yeah.

567

:

Brittinie: from, early twenties up

until, in their sixties and like the

568

:

conversations that I've had, the things

that I have learned at these missions

569

:

from simple things like how to get stains

out of stuff, techniques and things that

570

:

I never thought to, like deep personal,

relationship things and life things

571

:

and just having perspective and stuff.

572

:

yeah, absolutely.

573

:

I think there is something to be said

about spending time with other women.

574

:

it is just so important.

575

:

And like you said, multi-generational,

people in different parts of life,

576

:

different areas of their life.

577

:

There's so much advice to be given.

578

:

and women are just so amazing in

general and so strong and have such

579

:

great advice and learn so much.

580

:

we should be sharing that

to the next generation,

581

:

Sara: Absolutely.

582

:

Oh yes, no, I agree with

this whole heart heartedly.

583

:

I see everything in like visuals and

so yeah, it's like all those points of

584

:

connection that you're talking about.

585

:

It's just like creating a

stronger and stronger connection

586

:

and foundation and quilt.

587

:

And I wanted to highlight two courses.

588

:

I'm always creating courses

in my head that I want to do.

589

:

one is how to give and receive support.

590

:

How do we ask, how do we be vulnerable?

591

:

And then how do we give in a way

that doesn't drain our own cup?

592

:

I think there's a lot

to learn around that.

593

:

And then the other one, when you talked

about the college student, I'm so excited.

594

:

Oh my gosh, I wanna create a course

that's, on my own for the first time.

595

:

So how, 'cause we did home management

for everyone is like, when your home is

596

:

already established, you're already in it.

597

:

But what about the people

who, First apartment, first

598

:

dorm room first, anything.

599

:

How do you set up systems for success?

600

:

Because often we get to that point

of discomfort to look for a solution

601

:

and it's whoa, what if you started

with all these great support steps?

602

:

I also wanna do home management

for like, when two people newly

603

:

move in together, whether they're

romantic or roommates or anything.

604

:

that's a whole new layer of have you gone

into any houses where it's not a family,

605

:

not an individual, but roommates who

just haven't been able to figure it out.

606

:

Brittinie: I know that there has

been missions that they have done

607

:

that in other states and stuff.

608

:

I think that's such a great idea

because it really is like a lot of

609

:

the people that we help, simply like

just, we're not given the tools.

610

:

Like they just, no one taught them,

I grew up, my dad, I was referred

611

:

to him as Danny Tanner, so knew

very well how to keep things clean.

612

:

he was always like that, and so

he taught me a lot of that stuff.

613

:

a lot of the women we help, they

literally just, were never given that.

614

:

And so when we come in, with eight

women across the board, different

615

:

life experiences, different points

in their life, and can show them,

616

:

not just tell them, Hey, you should

do this, but show them how to do it.

617

:

and get it to a place like, Hey,

this is how you can maintain it.

618

:

This is how you can do it moving forward.

619

:

we like to do things like, make sure

there's still space in their cabinets.

620

:

We wanna make sure that this is a livable

space that works for you, not for us.

621

:

Doesn't matter if I think the towels

should go over here, I don't live here.

622

:

so things like that.

623

:

Lacey: Speaking our language.

624

:

Brittinie: Okay.

625

:

Sara: Yeah.

626

:

for those who listen to no

shame, they've heard me say it

627

:

a lot, which is we drive cars.

628

:

Somebody teaches us to drive, if

it's an adult or if it's driver's ed.

629

:

we all take some kind of education

to learn how to drive a car, right?

630

:

But then yet we're given

these homes to manage.

631

:

And not all of us are given

that driver's ed equivalent.

632

:

the reason we call this show no

shame in the home game is because

633

:

there's no shame in asking.

634

:

somehow we're expected to know, but

yet we're not all given the same set

635

:

of resources to know how to do it,

636

:

Maybe even if we were given the tools.

637

:

But those tools don't work for us.

638

:

We need different tools.

639

:

It's that's why I'm like, no shame.

640

:

let's all open our doors at the Same time.

641

:

Let's all admit, what

do we do really well?

642

:

What do we struggle with?

643

:

like you were saying, I a hundred

percent agree on all of this.

644

:

Again, match made in heaven.

645

:

I've got goosebumps.

646

:

I don't know what else to say.

647

:

Brittinie: love the idea of when you

say open the doors at the same time.

648

:

one thing that I think is an easy thing

that people can do to really start

649

:

changing the mindset is to not freak

out and clean your house top to bottom

650

:

when your friends come over, especially

your women friends, because that is

651

:

setting up the stage in their mind

that is how you maintain your house.

652

:

It's always like that.

653

:

and that's the bar that

everyone's putting it at.

654

:

But if we all collectively

agree to be realistic and be

655

:

like, Hey, you can come over.

656

:

This is my house, then that really

starts to change the mindset and

657

:

puts the standard as oh, we all

actually just live in our houses,

658

:

We can live and it can look like you live

there when you have people come over.

659

:

It doesn't have to be like a show house.

660

:

Because you're having people come over.

661

:

and that can really help with

just changing that mindset.

662

:

if we all start doing that,

663

:

, Sara: I a hundred percent agree with

you and I try to remind myself like I

664

:

am not going to inside my head mentally

judge anyone else's house for the way it

665

:

looks because I don't want to be judged.

666

:

And it's not always easy, but I'm

like, Nope, I'm gonna let people

667

:

see that my camping stuff is still

strewn across the dining room

668

:

because I haven't gotten to it.

669

:

that's life.

670

:

And like you said, a house is

for living, which is a verb.

671

:

It's an action.

672

:

Magazines and Pinterest still shots

are a snap in a moment in time.

673

:

And we're not a museum.

674

:

Lacey: I wanna make sure we

capture like how people can get

675

:

involved, where to find everything.

676

:

Brittinie: If you're interested in

getting involved with Hot Mess Express,

677

:

if you want to volunteer with us, if

you wanna ask for help, if you want

678

:

to start your own affiliate in your

own area, and start trying to create

679

:

that village in your community, you

can find everything@hotmessexpress.co.

680

:

We have volunteer forms and

nomination forms, and all of

681

:

that comes with no judgment.

682

:

it's not just a tagline.

683

:

We genuinely mean it.

684

:

we have so many affiliates

around the country that are

685

:

looking for women to help.

686

:

They need people to step

up and ask for help.

687

:

and they're looking for volunteers,

688

:

It doesn't have to be such a big

commitment to just give back and

689

:

help people in your community.

690

:

Lacey: And the really cool thing

is there's like a hot mess express,

691

:

overarching Instagram, but a lot

of the affiliates have their own.

692

:

So like I don't live in Cincinnati

anymore, but there's a Cincinnati

693

:

one, so I always like seeing

what they're doing and so that's

694

:

another way that you can support

695

:

Brittinie: Absolutely.

696

:

I love seeing the videos and

stuff that they come out with.

697

:

surreal to think that it stemmed

from this one Facebook post and

698

:

then, we have an affiliate in Hawaii

and Alaska and to see them posting

699

:

and showing them doing exactly

what we did for that first mission.

700

:

It's just wild.

701

:

Lacey: Yeah.

702

:

Brittinie: so exciting and

I think points to the need,

703

:

Sara: we talk about the three buckets of

resources here, time, energy, and money.

704

:

And so if you feel passionate about

this project, you can, as Brittany

705

:

said, you can become a volunteer.

706

:

You can put your time and your energy if

you want to support from the money bucket.

707

:

Mess Express is a nonprofit you can donate

to Hot Mess Express and Joyful Support is

708

:

providing this service to Hot Mess Express

at no charge because they are a nonprofit.

709

:

you can also support that bridge in

that village for hotness express by

710

:

donating to joyful support as well.

711

:

Lacey: Thank you so much for joining

us today, Brittany, but also that

712

:

everything that you've done thus far

to make Hot Mustard Express what it

713

:

is for, like responding to my email

and us coming with this partnership.

714

:

I am so excited for whatever is

coming next, because I just think

715

:

it's gonna be revolutionary.

716

:

Brittinie: I agree

717

:

Thank you.

718

:

Sara: And that was our

beautiful conversation.

719

:

Oh my gosh.

720

:

the marriage between Hotness

Express and Joyful Support Movement.

721

:

Match made in heaven, It's so beautiful

and for anyone who's having a rough day

722

:

thinking about everything that's going

on in the world, just remember amazing

723

:

things are happening all the time.

724

:

The beauty of what Hot Mess

Express is doing, all those people

725

:

are volunteering their time.

726

:

how cool

727

:

Lacey: We will do some quick gratitudes.

728

:

Sarah and I spent probably about

15 minutes before recording about

729

:

something that I'm excited about, so

I'm gonna talk to you all about it.

730

:

And that is the spirituality alignment

practice that I've been doing lately

731

:

of a mix between tarot and meditation

and just actually listening to myself.

732

:

it's made a huge difference for

me in so many different ways.

733

:

And I'm delighted by this.

734

:

if it sounds very woo, I know, like I

get that it sounds woo and it sounds,

735

:

not rooted in reality, maybe I should

say, but it is, it's just giving me tools

736

:

outside of myself to make sense of what's

already in my brain, to get rid of the

737

:

shoulds, as we've talked about before.

738

:

And it's just been so lovely.

739

:

And so beneficial for me I

grew up Catholic, Catholic ish.

740

:

we were the not as Catholic part of

our family, I enjoyed the rituals of

741

:

it and I enjoyed the, Community of

it, but I, have always had a really

742

:

hard time with someone telling me what

to do, and that's what it felt like.

743

:

to be able to tap into what feels like

something bigger than myself while finding

744

:

comfort for myself and ritual has been

lovely and I'm just really enjoying it.

745

:

Sara: I am happy for you.

746

:

Lacey: Yeah.

747

:

Sara: I realize I say that

all the time on the show.

748

:

When I listen back to our podcast,

I'm always like, I say that a lot.

749

:

I'm so happy for you, but I am.

750

:

I'm generally, I want to recognize

what you said and I am thankful

751

:

that you found something that is.

752

:

A grounding daily routine

for we all need that.

753

:

Lacey: Okay.

754

:

Sara: I share my joy

755

:

Lacey: Yes, please.

756

:

Sara: And I'm gonna give an asterisk

before this because I know I talk

757

:

a lot about insects and birds, I

have gotten feedback from people,

758

:

Lacey: Oh.

759

:

Sara: that they do enjoy.

760

:

They do enjoy what I say.

761

:

I walked out yesterday morning to my son's

bus stop and my, we have a motion light.

762

:

And it was weird.

763

:

The motion light was still going off

even though the, it was not dark.

764

:

I was like, what is going on?

765

:

And.

766

:

I looked over, there was the biggest

praying mantis I have ever seen.

767

:

He was hanging out by the light.

768

:

He was huge.

769

:

And in trues fashion, I told this

praying mantis how beautiful it

770

:

was and how much I appreciated it.

771

:

And then, my son see it and then I

made my husband come out and see it.

772

:

thing.

773

:

I feel like Brian Mantis are.

774

:

they're they shouldn't exist.

775

:

They're unbelievable.

776

:

They're so unreal.

777

:

They are so amazing.

778

:

And it reminded me, I used to have

this job where I worked, doing.

779

:

Yard work for somebody, and I used

to find baby praying mantis in

780

:

their yard, in their like, flower

beds and baby praying mantis.

781

:

Oh my gosh.

782

:

Those things are trippy.

783

:

Those things do not seem like they should

exist either, like they're so cute.

784

:

Have you ever seen a

praying mantis in person?

785

:

Lacey: I have seen one.

786

:

Cute is not the word I would

use, but I love you using it.

787

:

Sara: They're big eyes.

788

:

Oh my gosh.

789

:

The way they hold their front, they're

not legs, but like appendages for

790

:

anyone who's who can, I'm using my

hands right now to do the pregnant.

791

:

So that was my joy moment, and I'm

still riding that high 24 hours later.

792

:

Lacey: Sarah, one thing you, this

kind of goes back to what you said.

793

:

One of my things that I'm

realizing is I just want more

794

:

people to delight in each other.

795

:

And that's something that I didn't

realize was a skill that I have,

796

:

but it is something that I do.

797

:

So when you're like, I'm so happy

for you, I'm like, oh, that's

798

:

just Sarah delighting in me.

799

:

And then hearing listeners loving

your insects and birds, I'm like,

800

:

they're delighting in Sarah.

801

:

So just, this is my.

802

:

Campaign to delight in each other 'cause.

803

:

Yeah, absolutely.

804

:

Sara: And that's the perfect plug

for anyone who wants a little bit

805

:

more delighting in their life.

806

:

Joy moments.

807

:

Our

808

:

Lacey: Mm-hmm.

809

:

Sara: podcast.

810

:

I want to hear what

delights other people like.

811

:

It does, it makes me so happy to

hear what makes other people happy.

812

:

So please share your joy moments so

that we can share them with others

813

:

and then others can delight in you.

814

:

And then it's just joy magnified.

815

:

Magnify the joy.

816

:

Lacey: Oh, thank you, Sarah.

817

:

Sara: Thank you, Lacey.

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About the Podcast

Show artwork for No Shame in Our Game
No Shame in Our Game
Where Self-Help Meets Community Support

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About your hosts

Profile picture for Sara Kelly

Sara Kelly

Sara runs Your Aligned Home as a Home Management Consultant. Translation- let's get your home running smoother so you have time for the things you love!
Her combination of optimizing systems, a compassionate ear, and the desire to help others led her to this work.
Although she helps with all things inside the home, any free time is spent outside the home. She usually has dirt under her nails and a hat on her head ready to be outdoors.
Don't ask this gal for perfection, that is not her jam. She is in it to spark joy one home at a time and let the goodness ripple from there!
Profile picture for Lacey Tomlinson

Lacey Tomlinson

Lacey Tomlinson transforms life's messiest moments into meaningful connections. As a mother, entrepreneur, and chronic illness advocate, she founded the Joyful Support Movement after her own health journey forced her to rebuild her life authentically. Through podcasts, courses, and community building, Lacey helps others navigate their "messy middle" without shame or perfection, because she believes everyone deserves genuine support. Her philosophy? "Life's better when we stop pretending and just embrace the plot." With master's degrees in Communication and Instructional Design, she combines professional expertise with raw human experience to create spaces where vulnerability is celebrated, authentic stories are shared, and people find the support they need.