Episode 3

Meet Theresa

In our latest podcast episode of 'No Shame in the Home Game', we dive deep into the struggles and triumphs of meal planning with our participant, Teresa. Hosts Sarah and Lacey embark on a reflective and insightful discussion on the gap between knowing and doing, especially when it comes to daily routines in busy households. Teresa shares her challenges with finding a realistic solution for preparing meals amidst a hectic schedule as a working mom. The conversation explores the value of having a flexible meal planning framework, leveraging support systems, and embracing moments of joy and spontaneity in the kitchen. The episode also delves into strategies for overcoming fears of culinary failure and the importance of mindset shifts towards food preparation. Through Teresa's story, listeners are invited to find their own balance between structure and freedom in home management.

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Mentioned in this episode:

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Transcript
Lacey:

Welcome to No Shame in the Home Game.

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The podcast that cares how

your home feels, not looks.

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I am Lacey, your co host who, is trying.

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She is.

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And I'm going to throw it to Sarah,

our co host who I know is also trying,

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but in my mind, she's always knowing.

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Hi,

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Sara: Oh, hi, Lacey.

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Oh my goodness.

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So I just heard this

today and it was perfect.

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It's this person said the gap

between knowing and doing.

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So boy, do I know a lot of stuff

in my head, but that gap between

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knowing and doing some days it's big.

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So

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Lacey: It is, I feel

that to my bones well.

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Sara: we can only do so much in

a day and as busy working mommas,

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We think we're capable of doing

way more than we usually are.

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So this is a moment to give yourself

permission to accept that you're

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a human being because that's

what I'm trying to do right now.

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Lacey: I actually think that's a great

intro to our episode with Teresa,

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because I think this knowing and

doing is really her, one of her big

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pain points in, in her journey with

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Sara: That is such a good point.

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I did not intentionally

do that, but you're right.

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It does overlay so well because she does.

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She knows.

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She knows a lot of these solutions or

answers and it's just providing that

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space for reflection to get really clear

on that pain point, to get really clear

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on what's a realistic solution versus

ideally what we'd want to do if we had 40

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hours in a day versus 24 hours in a day.

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So you're right.

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That is, that's very much Teresa's.

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Wanting to do so much more

than as humans were capable of.

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Lacey: Sometimes we quote unquote know

what to do, but we only know what to

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do it, how to do it in a certain way.

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So I think that's the other thing that,

we have to be gentle with ourselves.

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I feel Teresa so much because I

just see so much of myself in her

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and how she talks about things.

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But, Just because you know one

way to do it doesn't necessarily

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mean it's the only way to do it.

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Sara: and then also let's get really

real on that level too, which is as

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busy working moms, which Teresa also is.

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The amount of decisions, like we can

know a lot, but then we're flooded with

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how much we know and how many decisions

we have to make and how many stressors

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are going on in our life that sometimes

that's where I come in and I just little

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helping hand, a little bit of guidance.

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And then that's all you need is just

that reframe and that deep breath.

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Lacey: I think people are going

to see themselves very heavily in

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Teresa's story just like I have.

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So just so everybody knows, I'm not

actually in the content of the, this

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episode, the interview part with Teresa,

because life, I don't even remember

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exactly what was happening, but I was

like, Sarah, can you do this one yourself?

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Confidently said yes, I

was very proud of her.

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So, you're not gonna hear my

voice, but it's not because

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no one's letting me speak.

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Sara: I just immediately

thought of dirty dancing.

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No one puts baby in the corner.

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No one, no one put Lacey in the corner.

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Yeah.

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When she asked me if I could do it.

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Laci has given me so much

confidence in my abilities.

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I was like, yeah, I can do this.

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I can do this.

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I can do this.

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So that was me.

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That was me like in my first solo

flight without Laci co piloting.

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I can do it, but I don't want

to do it without you, Laci.

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Lacey: I, I understand.

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It's a, it's a every once in a while

thing, but, , Sarah and I will be

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back at the end of the episode as

usual to do our moment of gratitude,

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so you will , hear my voice again

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Welcome, Teresa.

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I'm so glad that we were

able to connect this morning.

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Thank you for joining.

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No shame in the home game.

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How are you doing this morning?

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Track 1: I'm good!

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I'm so glad I made it, that

we're making this happen.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Yes.

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Yes.

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I want to let the audience know that

Teresa and I have known each other.

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I was trying to remember this morning.

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Is it 12 years?

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Maybe roughly

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after 10 years.

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Maybe it doesn't matter.

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Track 1: was Right.

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After seven, I think.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Yeah so

Teresa and I have known each other for

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a while and If you hear us slip into

very casual conversation, it's because

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we've gone past all the formalities a

long time ago So I'll start to remember

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that for the audience and Lacey is not

here with us this morning because Life

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happens and we have to pivot and adapt.

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And so she has some life happening

right now, but she will be with us

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on the second episode with Teresa.

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Teresa, if you wouldn't mind sharing a

little bit about yourself, where you are

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in the world, who all lives with you,

not only humans, but animals, because

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they require just as much of attention.

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and just a brief overview.

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Of whatever you feel comfortable sharing.

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Track 1: Sure.

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I live in Maryland, and about an

hour and a half from Washington, D.

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C.

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Wash Maryland is an interesting

state because we're really

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close to a lot of urban things.

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But our physical home is in the woods.

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So we live in the woods, me and my

husband and our daughter, who is 12,

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marking the time that we met each other.

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and then we have three kitties.

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And one golden retriever

with a lot of hair.

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We have a lot of hair that

floats around our house.

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Am I missing anything that would be good

to mention right now at this moment?

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: No, I think

that's, I think that's pretty good.

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And so I can understand, and the

audience can understand, the amount of

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traffic patterns going on in your house.

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Hubby works outside of

the home five days a week,

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Track 1: Actually, he works

at home a lot, these days.

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He has the option to work

from home, When need be.

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And so he joins a lot of team

meetings and stuff from home.

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so he's in the home a fair bit, but

often he's off doing things too.

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So it's a little unpredictable

for his flow about when he's

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here and when he's not here.

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And then I work outside of the home.

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I'm a massage therapist.

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And so I go down to the DC

area and in part of an, more

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of an urban setting there.

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I come and go pretty regularly,

and then Shannon goes to school.

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So she comes and goes to school,

and then I ought to mention

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that she's a figure skater.

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So we also leave very early

in the mornings, a few days

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a week to get to the rink.

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So today was one of those days.

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So we leave the house at about 530.

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That's pretty regular also.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Geez.

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Yeah, kudos, kudos to you for

being willing to get up at 530.

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Wait, you have to be there at 530?

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Or you have to leave at

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Track 1: we have to leave at

530 on weekdays, and we have

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to leave at 430 on weekends.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: all

I am just going to put that off

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to the side cause I can't even

mentally wrap my head around that.

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So I never realized how

long your commute is.

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You're driving an hour and a half

each way to work on top of your work

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Track 1: no, actually, I drive,

I drive about 50 minutes, but

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I always allow for an hour.

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the spa that I work for is, is north of D.

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C., but we're just really close to

that kind of urban energy, basically,

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in that we're an hour and a half

from the actual Washington, D.

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C., spots, but yeah, my work

is about 50 minutes away.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: So when you

do a work day, I'm just thinking you

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have to automatically add two hours.

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So are you working like how many

hours are you usually at the spa?

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Eight,

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Track 1: I've been actually

working into the 10 hour day.

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I'm gone for, I'm working for 10

hours, I take breaks during that time.

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But, I'm away from the

house for about 12 hours.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

And how many days a week?

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Track 1: Three.

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Definite days, sometimes it's four.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: And

the early morning rink days.

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And,

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Track 1: I mention that also

because work and ice skating are

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really close to the grocery store.

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And I make it part of the routine to

add a lot of grocery store joy and

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chaos into a lot of this driving.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

near, that's a good, that's a

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good, near the grocery store.

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Yes, and that's a little highlight, so we

already know what Teresa's pain point is.

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sometimes with contestants, it takes

some uncovering to find what's the

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source of the discomfort, which

is part of the journey with you.

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you came to me and said, I know what

my discomfort is, please help me.

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And I was so honored that

you trust me with this.

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So thank you.

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But before we get to your pain point,

can you tell me a little bit, so we

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understand your background, what was home

management like in your house growing

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up, and we already know it's about food.

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So if you want to highlight on

Who did the food preparation?

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How much were you involved in learning

about food preparation growing up?

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an overview of that.

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Track 1: So my mom did

food prep exclusively.

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I remember my dad making

Sunday morning breakfast.

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And she always did the shopping, as well.

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I have many fond memories of going to

the grocery store with my mom as a child.

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And are, were, I have three sisters,

so there were four girls in our family.

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And.

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Doing food prep together

was like a dance of a lot of

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different energy that I will say.

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So holidays was fun in a way.

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It was always expected for holidays.

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Weekdays, my mom was in charge and she

made the food and I could have cared less.

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I was like, I got more important

stuff to do than be in that room.

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And I stayed away from it.

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as much as possible.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: So you

didn't, so you saw her doing it,

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but you weren't necessarily paying

attention to how am I going to do

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this when I'm out on my own type of

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Track 1: if I was paying attention,

I was being a contrarian and I

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wanted to do it better and different.

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So there was that.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

It's so interesting because

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I have known you for so long.

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I don't see you as a contrarian.

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So when I hear these little tidbits

about your personality from your

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family of origin, I'm always

like I don't know that side of

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Track 1: I will also tell you that I used

to try and get out of the dishes a lot.

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I tried to get out of the kitchen work

as often as possible because I felt I had

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other more important things to do or other

things I was much more interested in.

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And I paid attention to what my

mom was doing a bit, but I was

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very sure I didn't want to do

what she was doing in that room.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: So when you

left the house and you were out on

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your own, what did that look like?

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Figuring out how to navigate

your own food journey.

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Cause there's always that moment

where you're like, Oh man,

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nobody's making dinner for me.

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I have to figure this out for myself.

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Track 1: So I love to buy food.

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I love to buy food already made and

it brings me a lot of joy that someone

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else did it and it's a little bit of my

mom almost like I feel like I'm being

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nurtured when someone else made it.

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I love picking up simple things.

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I know before I was married, I Bought just

pre made stuff from the grocery store.

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It didn't have to be like an elaborate,

like being made for me, but if it

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was already done, I felt like I was

being, it was luxurious in a way.

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And I loved going to the grocery store to

find things in the beautiful packaging.

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And if it looked pretty,

I was going to buy it.

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that was, labels mattered to me.

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A lot more than making

it myself, actually.

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If it looked nice in the package,

that was probably going to be a

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great thing at my house, which I,

so I didn't value making it myself.

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I valued picking it up and having it look

lovely already delivered to me, basically.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

So I'm curious, ideal.

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If there were no obstacles, would your

ideal solution be just having meals

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just delivered to your house every day?

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and then, okay, so if that's the ideal,

she's shaking her head vehemently.

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Yes.

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So if that's the ideal and

I'm the same, I say, I love.

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Whatever food I didn't make because

yeah, I'm right there with you.

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And then so the next step being those kits

that they send where it's like all the

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ingredients and the recipe is right there.

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How much joy or not joy?

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Track 1: joy.

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I've tried it a little bit.

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I hate the packaging.

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And that's only been that's my only

experience is that, it came with

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too many package too much packaging.

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And I just couldn't feel good about that.

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So I didn't like that.

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and I.

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This may be jumping a little bit, but

I will tell you that I have tried.

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So one of the things I love about the

spa work and the mention of it's in a

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more urban area is right around the spa

is the grocery store that has pickup

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and I have finally learned to use that.

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And then across the street, there's lots

of across the streets cause it's in one

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of those planned, shopping, outdoor.

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sidewalky experiences.

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There are about six restaurants

and I have my favorites and I love

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picking up food for the family there.

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I have come to find out that's too

expensive for the budget, so I've dialed

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it back, but I was on cloud nine that

twice a week I was buying things and

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bringing it home and Unfortunately, no

one shared my joy of this as much as me.

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the salad from Sweet Greens wasn't,

wasn't quite the right meal.

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The pizza that I got wasn't

quite the right pizza.

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a few other things felt a little too

expensive that weren't that tasty either.

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I haven't nailed it.

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Although I've got one Greek

restaurant that I'm, that I

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can bring things home from.

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And there's a win on that one right now.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Oh, what

do you get from the greek restaurant?

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I love greek food.

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Track 1: Gyros and Spana, the Spanish pie,

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Yes

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Oh,

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Track 1: pie.

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Sorry, spinach pie.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Yes and

When we're talking so just so we

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can clearly define for the audience.

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We already know that food Meal prep,

meal planning, executing, everything

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around food is the pain point for you.

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And are we primarily talking dinner

or is it also breakfast, lunch?

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Track 1: it's primarily dinner.

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Lunches are a little bit more regular

and a little bit more regular.

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I always eat leftovers.

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My husband is very happy with certain

cycles of sandwiches and other kind

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of things you can put in a lunchbox.

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My daughter is hit or miss, but I

do ask her to make the choices for

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that and then We just go from there.

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That doesn't feel as painful,

the lunch, although, yeah, that

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one doesn't feel as painful.

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The dinner feels more painful.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay,

and breakfast is smooth sailing.

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Track 1: is not something that

we do well with as a family.

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we don't eat breakfast so much, and

if we do, it's also pretty routine.

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it's eggs.

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It's an egg breakfast, and we have

oatmeal, and then some cereals, and

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yeah, but that one doesn't have to

have as much variety, basically.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: So going back,

so let's focus on dinner now that we

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know what we don't have to worry about.

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Dinner, 10 hour days plus

two hours of driving.

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You're not making dinner

when you get home, are you?

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Okay.

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Track 1: I'm not,

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: How's that?

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how does that look?

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Track 1: so also I get home

late, like nine o'clock.

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So dinner had to already have happened,

and some days, like today, I don't

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have to start until, so this is not

a ten hour day, it's an eight hour

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day, plus the drive, so I try to make

the dinner before I leave, because I

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don't have to leave until, ten thirty.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Oh, make

dinner before you leave on your eight

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hour days, but not your 10 hour days.

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Track 1: Oh, no, I try even on those 10

hour days that there's a try for that

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or sometimes It's like the pizza like

tonight actually the pizza is getting

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left and they have to make the pizza.

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I did buy the

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: And are you

doing, a different dinner every night

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or do you ever lean on leftovers?

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Track 1: I love leftovers, but they're

usually my lunch So and my family does

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not like leftovers so I do not lean on

leftovers for same day But I will lean

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on making spaghetti and meatballs, say

on Monday and then on Friday I'm making a

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smashed meatballs into the sauce, putting

it over like manicotti or something like

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that and then throwing that in the oven or

getting it ready to be put into the oven.

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So it doesn't take sometimes

those don't take too much time.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay.

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So you're open to piggybacking on

a previous meal to get you through.

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Track 1: definitely do piggyback and

I like that idea because I noticed.

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That the big recipe I was trying to make

on Sunday that I kept procrastinating on

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was not available for me to piggyback on.

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I made like a stew.

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I'm like, now what do you do with

stew the next day if no one's going

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to eat it any other time of this week?

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Or it's not good to heat up.

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So I I really do rely on that and

sometimes I also make a double batch

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of something and I throw it in the

freezer and then it's easy for me

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to make, do that meal again in two

weeks when it's been forgotten about.

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sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Perfect.

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I love this.

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okay.

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Okay.

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This is where I get really excited

because what I see when I'm asking

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all these questions is I see a riddle

that definitely has a solution.

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And what we have to do is keep

getting more and more pieces of

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information that either block out

a path or open up another path.

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And so asking all these questions

are really important, making a

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double batch and freezing it,

you're already used to that.

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And that is such an awesome tool knowing

that you eat your leftovers the next day.

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that's great to know that you have time

to sometimes prepare before the day.

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this is all helpful and I want

to iterate for people listening.

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Food is so easy.

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To dismiss, to downplay,

but we all need it.

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We all need food in our bellies.

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There's so much emotion around food.

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Either enjoying it or not enjoying

it, just feeling, like you are

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eating a meal that is satiating

you there really is just so much.

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So it is important.

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I know some people might be some people

I've worked with, especially just.

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Oh, it's just food, but it's just

but you can't eat oatmeal three times

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a day, seven days a week, and not

start to have some feelings about it.

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and as we've seen, your family has

preferences, you have preferences, which I

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know is part of, who wants what, so we're

going to, we're going to figure this out.

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The next question I have, so batch

freezing piggybacking leftovers.

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Okay.

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My next question was, how do you,

and how does your family feel?

364

:

If you had, this is just an example, it's

not going to be the solution, but what

365

:

if every seven days of the week, every

day was a theme, like soup on Mondays.

366

:

tacos on Tuesday, Friday is pizza.

367

:

And if every week you repeated that,

would that feel good or not good?

368

:

Track 1: It's like I knew you

were going to ask me this.

369

:

No, I'm kidding.

370

:

But I have started doing some of that.

371

:

So on Wednesday, not

Tuesday, we have tacos.

372

:

Everybody likes those these days.

373

:

And Yes, they're, they

don't complain about that.

374

:

I take no complaining and

sometimes they even say yay.

375

:

They don't know that it's Wednesday tacos.

376

:

Except I have been saying it's Wednesday,

so we're gonna have tacos and we're

377

:

gonna have a family night kind of thing.

378

:

there, there is this theme that the

joyful meal becomes the Meal that I can

379

:

rally some family time around where it's

can we do it a little different tonight?

380

:

can we play a game like

mommy's home tonight?

381

:

So let's do something mommy wants to do

And it starts out with and I have a meal

382

:

that you all are going to so yes The

routine does not seem to bother them.

383

:

It can't be a same meal two nights in

a row no leftovers, but a schedule for

384

:

the week would probably be welcomed.

385

:

I will tell you that I

don't, I am not a fan.

386

:

I'm not very good with

routine over and over again.

387

:

I am one of those people that's let's just

be spontaneous, let's make whatever, but

388

:

that doesn't roll so well in my household.

389

:

And then I don't find so much

joy out of, nobody really ate.

390

:

The sushi rolls that we played with

for two hours and had fun with.

391

:

That's not enough, then we

have to try something again.

392

:

So anyway, yes, I guess the answer

to the question is Yes, it would be

393

:

helpful to have a routine, but the mommy

is a little resistant to the routine.

394

:

I got Wednesdays and tacos,

and I have a couple things that

395

:

I throw in there that I like

396

:

and I don't mind them grumbling if maybe

they'll take charge and do the food

397

:

because there's a lot of days of food.

398

:

And I already told you that

breakfast is a bit of a non topic.

399

:

Lunches are set.

400

:

They're not happening invisibly.

401

:

I'm doing them.

402

:

I do those breakfast, those lunches, and

I do them in the early morning hours.

403

:

So I get Shannon to help me, but I

enjoy making lunch for my husband.

404

:

We've been doing it for a long time.

405

:

I love seeing him take a lunchbox off.

406

:

I like the routine of Making a warm

drink for us, making those sandwiches.

407

:

I have started to food prep

them even, like making egg

408

:

salad, making tuna in a batch.

409

:

So I have enough for the week.

410

:

Getting deli meat at

pivotal times in the week.

411

:

And yeah, I'm over the food

thing after about three meals

412

:

of dinner and all those lunches.

413

:

So

414

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay.

415

:

Okay.

416

:

And I want to highlight something here

and I'm hearing everything and I'm taking

417

:

it in and finding the perfect solution

is about what works best for you.

418

:

The family taking in all those

elements and also a bit of.

419

:

I don't want to say compromise cause it

has a negative connotation, but there also

420

:

is a little bit of shifting expectations.

421

:

So when you say you don't like to

have those repeat meals every week,

422

:

I hear that like contrarian young

Teresa, don't tell me that I have

423

:

to have tacos every Wednesday.

424

:

But then when you just said tuna

salad, egg salad, batching, getting

425

:

the deli meat, what I heard in

that was very much a pattern.

426

:

And repetition that sounds like it's

not a lot of work because you are

427

:

repeating things so I can, if you can

see how that's a path of less resistance

428

:

and maybe repetition every week, but

with variety, does that make sense?

429

:

Yes.

430

:

For dinner.

431

:

Okay.

432

:

Track 1: And I'm noticing that I

want to get to that level of function

433

:

and ease that I do with lunches.

434

:

The win for me is to get

that way with dinner.

435

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Yes.

436

:

But do you see that might

entail having some repetition?

437

:

Track 1: It will require some bending.

438

:

Yes.

439

:

Some changing.

440

:

Yes.

441

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay.

442

:

But we're not going to squash that, that,

that free spirit, Teresa, like that.

443

:

We're not squashing that.

444

:

We're going to make room for

that within the repetition.

445

:

So I think of everything I do with

home management as scaffolding, right?

446

:

Nobody wants to, build, do anything

without some sort of support.

447

:

But you don't have to stick to it.

448

:

It's a framework that

is there if you need it.

449

:

Track 1: So I'm laughing because

I have not articulated this.

450

:

This is really fun about

working with you on this.

451

:

So one of my joys in letting

go of the repetition, okay.

452

:

Yes, let me just first say yes, the

scaffolding sounds really supportive

453

:

and really wise and I am ready to

get to work on that and then you'll

454

:

probably appreciate this about me.

455

:

I'm ready to attract it in.

456

:

I'm ready to attract

the dinner, be in flow.

457

:

My greatest joy is not knowing a

plan and then nailing it at the last

458

:

minute and be like, I manifested that.

459

:

I did that, with my intention to

read the scene of the story in the

460

:

moment and be like, that was fun.

461

:

That little, I didn't know

how it was going to work out.

462

:

And look, it came together beautifully

because I just listened to the energy.

463

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay, what I'm

hearing there, I am laughing so hard.

464

:

I feel like you're playing the

equivalent of high stakes gambling.

465

:

if you picture Las Vegas,

two in the morning.

466

:

Somebody's got 100, 000 on the

line going, I don't know if I'm

467

:

gonna get this back or lose it all.

468

:

It's like you're doing the

equivalent of that with dinner.

469

:

You're like, I don't know.

470

:

It's either gonna work out

and feel amazing or it's gonna

471

:

hit the fan and feel horrible.

472

:

do you see the precipice?

473

:

Track 1: I do.

474

:

And I'm laughing because I'm

seriously thinking of my sisters

475

:

who are like, what are you nuts?

476

:

why would you do that with family dinner?

477

:

I'm like, Because it's how I roll.

478

:

It's who I am.

479

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay.

480

:

Okay.

481

:

And let's, I really, this is so important.

482

:

This way.

483

:

I love my work.

484

:

That's who you are and you love that part.

485

:

And I also know how much

discomfort it's causing

486

:

you because I've been talking

487

:

Track 1: Yeah.

488

:

No, it's so true.

489

:

I

490

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: I

want you to be somebody else.

491

:

I want you to have this rigid structure.

492

:

I'm not saying that you've

brought to me because we are

493

:

friends and we talk all the time.

494

:

You brought to me this discomfort

that I know is draining your emotional

495

:

energy, your physical energy.

496

:

And as you pointed out yourself, it's

A lot of money sometimes when you're

497

:

picking up a lot of carry out food.

498

:

So what we want to do is find the

balance between freewheeling Teresa and

499

:

completely drained, frustrated, exhausted.

500

:

I don't care about food.

501

:

Get out of my face, Teresa.

502

:

We want to find that's our goal is to

find that moment of enough structure.

503

:

So you don't get exhausted,

but enough freedom.

504

:

So that you can get that 100, 000 Las

Vegas on the line feel when it happens.

505

:

Track 1: mean, even I hope this is not

too off topic, but even with the lunch

506

:

routine, some of that intuitive energy

joy is what am I going to pick the tuna?

507

:

the egg salad or the deli meat today.

508

:

Which one have I manifested?

509

:

I did this and that, like it's, there's

still joy in like in those pics, right?

510

:

So I have to see that like having a

wide open, there is nothing planned

511

:

for dinner and I'm rolling home.

512

:

this happened last night for sure.

513

:

Girl Scout meeting and I'm the

Girl Scout leader rushing through

514

:

traffic after my day's work.

515

:

And then.

516

:

I don't know what the heck I'm going to

make for dinner, and there's really not

517

:

a lot to choose from that I'm aware of.

518

:

I'm like, oh, I'll pick something up.

519

:

I'm like, there's no

time to pick anything up.

520

:

So I'm like, what are you going to make?

521

:

I'm like, Grilled cheese, and I said

grilled cheese and my husband was like

522

:

oh, okay I'll have whatever you guys

are having if it's mac and cheese.

523

:

I'm like ooh, that's better idea

I'm going for the mac and cheese.

524

:

It was six o'clock.

525

:

It was six o'clock I'm getting home,

and I'm making I had no idea what I was

526

:

making and that fact that I did the win

on that I'm like no I that was a win.

527

:

I loved those days

528

:

Mhm.

529

:

Mhm.

530

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay, perfect.

531

:

Okay.

532

:

Think about if people listen to me enough,

they know I am the analogy queen because

533

:

I see things and images in my head.

534

:

So stick with me.

535

:

You drive to Washington, D.

536

:

C.

537

:

50, 50 minutes.

538

:

Track 1: yes

539

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

Do you have a route planned?

540

:

The first time you did it, did you

look at a map and plan out a route?

541

:

Or did you get in your car and go,

I know it's roughly east of here.

542

:

I'll just start driving.

543

:

Which one?

544

:

No, honestly, which one did you do?

545

:

Track 1: So funny to me, but okay.

546

:

No I obsessively like Did the GPS on

how many minutes and what route to take.

547

:

Yeah, I know.

548

:

I did the math thing,

549

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: do

you do the same drive since

550

:

you started working there?

551

:

Have you done the exact

same drive every time?

552

:

Track 1: except the one day

that I got on the wrong highway

553

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay.

554

:

Track 1: instead of DC, but yeah,

I do every day take the same route.

555

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay.

556

:

if you had an extra 20 minutes and there

was a beautiful side road, could you

557

:

get off and go I'm going to drive by the

horses today, or I'm going to take the

558

:

long way to get on the highway because

559

:

there's a beautiful water over here.

560

:

You have that choice, right?

561

:

But you also have the path of least

resistance, which is the road you've

562

:

taken every day, but you're not confined.

563

:

Your path to work is the path of

least resistance, and you always

564

:

have the option to take some

alternate routes, but you don't

565

:

have to think about it on the days

that you don't want to think about

566

:

Track 1: that's right.

567

:

And there's a lot of, I actually

am very attached to my drive.

568

:

I like the, I like what it

gives me in terms of the time

569

:

to do certain other things.

570

:

And the fact that I have that.

571

:

Yes, I did not think of that before, but

fact that I could enjoy, say, like cooking

572

:

with Shannon, now, I will say that my

daughter is very good in the kitchen.

573

:

So giving her a pain point about,

oh, there's nothing to eat.

574

:

Why don't you create something is, often

a success for her and an opportunity.

575

:

What if I could know what we're making

and we got to play with say, making

576

:

dessert, because there, she literally was

talking me through that recipe on Sunday.

577

:

come on, mom, you can do it.

578

:

Come on.

579

:

I'm like, oh, I'm not going to,

it's not going to come out right.

580

:

Read the recipe to me.

581

:

What am I doing next?

582

:

Oh my gosh.

583

:

That's not, that was not

great mothering, to be honest.

584

:

Cause she was mothering me

through creating a new recipe.

585

:

And I'm like, where's my taco night?

586

:

that's what I was looking at for.

587

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

Okay, and this is great.

588

:

you're a massage therapist, you

know, muscles have the amazing

589

:

ability to do so much, but if they

get in a, like a stuck pattern.

590

:

They are not doing what they're capable

of, and it's actually uncomfortable to

591

:

even attempt some range of motion, right?

592

:

So when you get to that

point, it's just not working.

593

:

Track 1: Yeah.

594

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: so really

think about what you're saying.

595

:

You enjoy doing the lunch.

596

:

You get to have a hot drink.

597

:

You get to decide what to pick.

598

:

it's, and your drive, you that time.

599

:

You don't have to think too much, So

let's think about trying on a few things.

600

:

to allow you those feelings of

ease, but still have some choices.

601

:

And what's great is nothing is permanent.

602

:

We're not tattooing your face.

603

:

We're just going to try.

604

:

we're just going to try some things

on and then you take what feels good.

605

:

As our friend, Aaron always says, you take

what feels good and you leave the rest

606

:

Track 1: Exactly.

607

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: and that's

all we're doing is trying things on.

608

:

So I love that your daughter is she, he,

she enjoys, she's not only good at it, but

609

:

she enjoys doing things in the kitchen.

610

:

And.

611

:

And your husband, does he enjoy any part

of food, grilling, baking, picking up?

612

:

None of the above.

613

:

Okay,

614

:

that's fine.

615

:

So let's use our resources wisely.

616

:

Okay.

617

:

Track 1: actually, wait.

618

:

He does like going grocery shopping

every couple of months to get stock up

619

:

things that make he and Shannon happy.

620

:

They do enjoy going to Target.

621

:

I shouldn't say no about that.

622

:

Yeah, there is a and sometimes that

can lead to, Oh, I had no idea that

623

:

you wanted such and such in the house.

624

:

So every few months he

will do like a stock up.

625

:

It becomes like a family thing and

I'm not really there getting anything.

626

:

I'm just watching and being

like, what else could you use?

627

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: so what I love

about that is Knowing to me, I see this

628

:

great little pocket solution of Richard

does going out every now and then and

629

:

doing these stock ups with Shannon and

it sounds like it's like a their thing.

630

:

Shannon does have some strength and

desire in the kitchen and on top

631

:

of that, you've got some days where

you're not coming home until 9 PM.

632

:

see this really cool.

633

:

Space for them to be able to

buy what they need on those for

634

:

those nights have this recipe.

635

:

You can prep a couple things

and Shannon can execute

636

:

Track 1: Dad.

637

:

Yeah.

638

:

Okay.

639

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: she.

640

:

She's going to learn these

skills for when she's on her own.

641

:

Track 1: Yes, that is, that has been my

goal for the last six months is that it'll

642

:

become a thing for them if I do less or

even, do it in a supportive way, what can

643

:

I help you do for Tuesday and Thursday?

644

:

When we're not, when we know mommy's

not going to be home and you're

645

:

not going out and about, or you're

going to be getting the food too.

646

:

Cause you know, there's a

lot of Oh, mommy's not home.

647

:

We'll just, stop at Chick fil A or

McDonald's or something like that.

648

:

Okay.

649

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: okay.

650

:

Richard and Shannon night.

651

:

Okay.

652

:

And then, so put a

little side note on that.

653

:

We're going to look at, we're going to,

you'll get some assigned, you'll get

654

:

some homework so that we can do this.

655

:

And part of that is going to be, and

you don't have to write this down.

656

:

I'll let you know, really

finding out from them.

657

:

It's a fast finding mission.

658

:

What meals do they like that you don't?

659

:

Oh,

660

:

Track 1: Oh, very many.

661

:

Okay, yes.

662

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Perfect!

663

:

And then from that, we're gonna figure

out, okay, what kind of prep steps can

664

:

be done to help those so Shanna's not

spending an hour in the kitchen, but

665

:

rather, she's putting it together for 15

minutes and letting it bake or something.

666

:

so we're gonna, we're gonna unravel that.

667

:

That is so beautiful.

668

:

And then, when, you already said

Wednesdays you like to do tacos, right?

669

:

Track 1: Yes, because Wednesday

I keep as I don't work that day.

670

:

I just really stay away from

saying yes to any work on that day.

671

:

Mhm.

672

:

Mhm.

673

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Knowing your

free spirit and that you want to explore,

674

:

what if Sunday was a recipe exploration

day and that's when you try new things?

675

:

Track 1: Yeah, that

does sound really good.

676

:

It's also the pain point.

677

:

Because I get afraid, we've talked

about this, I get afraid that the

678

:

recipe is not going to work, I'm going

to have wasted my time, or I didn't

679

:

do well in the kitchen on a new thing.

680

:

So yes, this is a good

place to have some homework.

681

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay.

682

:

I want to explore that a little bit.

683

:

Yes.

684

:

You talked about The quote unquote

failing, which I, have a lot of

685

:

feelings around the word failing.

686

:

I grew up thinking I was

failing at everything.

687

:

I've had to really embrace what

failure is and looks like imperfection.

688

:

And when I work, when I walk into

clients homes and they say, I've

689

:

tried everything and nothing works.

690

:

I say, you haven't tried everything,

but what you have done is eliminated

691

:

a lot of things that didn't work,

which is great because you've just

692

:

narrowed down the possible solutions.

693

:

So it's not failure.

694

:

It's more.

695

:

It's more pieces of information.

696

:

So let's take the stew, for example.

697

:

What did you like about what

drew you to the stew recipe

698

:

Track 1: Two things.

699

:

One of my co workers made some version of

the stew and it looked and smelled lovely.

700

:

it included meat and I

was using the Instant Pot.

701

:

I thought, oh, I can check a box on

making some protein meat in a tool and

702

:

it could become easy because I know

that the Instant Pot can make things.

703

:

happen nicely, easily.

704

:

I do use that occasionally.

705

:

So those are the things

that drew me to it.

706

:

It was like, oh, I could

have something on my map.

707

:

Basically, I could have something

in my, what would my scaffold that

708

:

you're talking about where I could

plug this in and it would work well

709

:

and it would serve my needs to like

have vegetables and meat and no cheese.

710

:

I'm looking for recipes without

cheese that my family will eat because

711

:

there's too much of that in the mix.

712

:

there's too many easy

things with cheese in it.

713

:

So I don't know.

714

:

It was like, that was, and I knew

I could add more vegetables to it

715

:

'cause I always know what I like

to do to make the meal pleasant.

716

:

For me, it's add arugula, add spinach,

add something with more colors.

717

:

A little bit of what they're

eating and a lot of those

718

:

other colors and I'm so happy.

719

:

So it's, it seemed like it could be

modifiable for all of us if I could

720

:

get a win on something that didn't

take a lot of time but, was a nice

721

:

meal different than the other stuff.

722

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: and

what about it felt like a win and

723

:

what about it felt like not a win

724

:

Track 1: What about it felt like a win?

725

:

It was really nice to cook

with Shannon in the kitchen.

726

:

That was nice.

727

:

I did really enjoy that and, that

we were making a meal together.

728

:

She wasn't making that recipe with me,

but she made side things for the dinner.

729

:

So I just, I really did love that.

730

:

And then.

731

:

It felt like a win because I do think

that it came out as tender beef,

732

:

which can be hard for me to arrive at.

733

:

so it could be repeated.

734

:

It felt like it didn't go so smoothly

because I kept resisting it so much.

735

:

I had bought this brisket that I

had in the freezer for way too long.

736

:

I'm like, that has got to be used.

737

:

And the price tag on it was.

738

:

Because it was so much, I was really

uncomfortable with how much money I

739

:

had spent and what if it had, what

if it didn't come out tenderly?

740

:

what if the meat wasn't

tender and couldn't be eaten?

741

:

Big waste.

742

:

And that was feeling scary.

743

:

for me, in my, levels of discomfort around

the kitchen, that was feeling scary to me.

744

:

ugh, another wasted food

attempt and resource.

745

:

So I felt like it was that day or I was

throwing it away because I had taken

746

:

it out of the freezer Probably three

times and I don't even know if that's

747

:

safe like thaw it freeze it again.

748

:

I'm like, oh I didn't do it I've tried

this recipe now probably been two

749

:

months that piece of meat was in the

freezer It's been Three weeks that I've

750

:

thought about it, I'm wasting my energy

thinking about this recipe and that

751

:

felt like, why couldn't it just be easy

like a, like amazing intuitive dinner,

752

:

like a massage, that was all my great,

intuitive energy just coming together.

753

:

It wasn't like that.

754

:

It was like, this is work.

755

:

I'm re it's a lot of resistance in me

to get here to pressing whatever that

756

:

button is on the instant pot that says,

finally, it's just gonna pressure cook.

757

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

and how did it taste

758

:

Track 1: Okay.

759

:

I didn't love it to be honest.

760

:

Really, I didn't love it.

761

:

Look at your

762

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: and your family?

763

:

Track 1: I don't know if they were

764

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: that's okay.

765

:

Track 1: nice, because on Sundays when

I try new things, I think that they

766

:

know that, this is not my best moment.

767

:

Shannon was like, It's good, Mommy!

768

:

It's good!

769

:

She's saying it's good.

770

:

I'm going to visualize it's the truth.

771

:

and they ate it.

772

:

they would not eat it if it wasn't good.

773

:

They would actually not eat it.

774

:

So I guess it was good.

775

:

Enough.

776

:

For a try.

777

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

there's so much fertile ground

778

:

here and I'm really excited.

779

:

I've written down so many notes.

780

:

First of all, do you have a crock pot?

781

:

Track 1: No.

782

:

No crockpot.

783

:

Just an instant pot.

784

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Okay.

785

:

I'll have to do, I am not as

familiar with an instant pot.

786

:

My neighbor is, but what I love

about crock pots is you throw

787

:

it together in the morning.

788

:

It just cooks all day.

789

:

The meat is usually very tender

790

:

Track 1: know.

791

:

I wish I could wrap my head around it,

but we have this, fire hazard concern.

792

:

And I know that, my mom

793

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: okay,

794

:

Track 1: cook things, but if,

because I'm also forgetful.

795

:

we don't love it when Teresa

leaves something going and

796

:

forgets to turn it off.

797

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

but you know what?

798

:

That's fine because I know that

Instapot can do what the crockpot

799

:

does in a shorter amount of time.

800

:

So that's fine.

801

:

And that's valid.

802

:

And I will adapt to that.

803

:

I'm also seeing an opportunity.

804

:

Do you feel like your kitchen skills

could, how do you feel comfortable

805

:

with your kitchen skills with

knowing about seasoning and different

806

:

cooking techniques, do you feel like

there's room for growth there or.

807

:

Are you not interested in growing there?

808

:

I don't know.

809

:

You tell me.

810

:

Track 1: there's definitely room to grow.

811

:

I have this wonderful book

called Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat.

812

:

Do you know that

813

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Oh, yes.

814

:

I don't have it, but I know the author.

815

:

Yes.

816

:

Track 1: so I have learned, I've

learned that fat and salt are a good

817

:

thing to use from just that book.

818

:

I, no, there is room for me to grow and

I do feel inspired by other people and I,

819

:

oh, I also wanted to, you can make note

of this, I love working with other people.

820

:

On my enhancing my skills.

821

:

So for example, my sister in law, both

of my sister in laws, and this is not

822

:

to exclude my own sisters too, but

Richard's sisters are very good cooks.

823

:

And during the pandemic, I

reached out to one of them and

824

:

asked how she made her chicken.

825

:

And she taught me it was a

real, I will never forget it.

826

:

I love, I call them volume expanders.

827

:

It's my errand thing.

828

:

It's like, how do I expand

the joy in my experience?

829

:

I bring people in.

830

:

I love my chicken from Christine.

831

:

I love it.

832

:

I know how to make chicken now.

833

:

No,

834

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: often do you do

835

:

Track 1: never.

836

:

Now, I don't.

837

:

No, I'm kidding.

838

:

I have not been making chicken lately.

839

:

I cannot tell you why.

840

:

I should rekindle it.

841

:

But, Yeah, that's, we got so tired of

chicken, but it's reminding me I should

842

:

put it on the cycle again because I'm

complaining about having too much of

843

:

other things like cheese or something.

844

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: So the

other thoughts I have, because

845

:

we're not going to solve it

846

:

all today.

847

:

This has been a fact finding mission.

848

:

I'm going to give you some assignments.

849

:

We're going to come back and,

discover what we discovered.

850

:

maybe I'll give you a couple

of things to try, but.

851

:

A couple of other notes

I had written down.

852

:

One is the idea of parallel play.

853

:

I loved learning that idea about

kids when they get together.

854

:

They're not always doing the same

thing, but they're doing it together.

855

:

And you have mentioned, and I know

that you prefer a lot more colors and

856

:

vegetables, less cheese, and the rest of

your family would prefer maybe more meat,

857

:

more cheese, different seasoning, right?

858

:

So finding some recipes that allow

for parallel play where you get to

859

:

vegetable it up and spice it up and

they get to meat it up and cheese it up.

860

:

Tacos are the perfect example.

861

:

I put mine on a bed of lettuce

and I do tons of beans.

862

:

My husband will do his on

a tortilla with more meat.

863

:

It's the perfect starting place

to go in different directions.

864

:

So some meals like the

stew, it's set, right?

865

:

It's there versus finding

meals like the chicken.

866

:

Your family could take that chicken

and do something with it and you could

867

:

take the chicken and do something else

with it, but you're all having chicken.

868

:

And.

869

:

And then, and I know this one deeply

because my husband is a red meat eater.

870

:

he would eat it seven days a week,

three times a day if he could.

871

:

and my son is a vegetarian, so I very

much am familiar with parallel play.

872

:

That's why I suggested it.

873

:

The other thing I see you

874

:

as such a confident intrepid explorer.

875

:

I've always known you as somebody who

just is like, Yeah, let's do this.

876

:

Let's do that.

877

:

you sent me a picture.

878

:

You're watching my kid once.

879

:

And it's Shannon and Jack in the back

with the hood down on the convertible.

880

:

And you're like, we just took

a drive with the top down.

881

:

And it was just like,

it was just so Teresa.

882

:

So there's such an

openness to your mindset.

883

:

But then when I hear you use

words like failure, I'm like,

884

:

Oh, that's so not the Teresa.

885

:

I like I'm familiar with.

886

:

So there's an opportunity.

887

:

I maybe it's just an ingrained mindset,

but there's an opportunity to shift

888

:

your mindset around food exploration.

889

:

How does.

890

:

How does that feel when I say that?

891

:

Track 1: When you say mindset,

I know we're already on the

892

:

right path, so whatever shifting

is necessary is the truth.

893

:

That's what I just see it as.

894

:

yes, that would make sense.

895

:

As soon as we say mindset, food,

exploring, I'm like, why am

896

:

I so uncomfortable with this?

897

:

But that is my truth is that

I am uncomfortable about it.

898

:

And so it's the place to,

it's why I'm asking for help.

899

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

Perfect, perfect.

900

:

No, and I love this and I love this and

I've and I can really relate to this I

901

:

think everyone can especially the moms

in the family where all of a sudden you

902

:

feel like you're expected to feed everyone

and likes are always changing and Prices

903

:

of things are always changing in the

store and your time is always changing.

904

:

So it, it's a real, it affects everyone.

905

:

And mindset is going to be one of the

things that we're going to work on.

906

:

Some of your homework is going

to be collecting information.

907

:

What are some absolute wins in your

book and your family's book and looking

908

:

at that, and then going back to the

scaffolding example is having staples.

909

:

Like tacos and what I advise, I

have, I have a program, a free

910

:

program people can get on my website.

911

:

The 10 steps to meal planning freedom.

912

:

And 1 of them is having 3 no brainers.

913

:

So no brainers from and no

brainers are it's always on hand.

914

:

And you don't have to think about it.

915

:

So for me, that is, and I'm just thinking

off the top of my head, it doesn't

916

:

necessarily fulfill everyone's buckets,

but for my son, mac and cheese, I always

917

:

have a back box of mac and cheese.

918

:

I always have butter.

919

:

I always have milk.

920

:

And then for the vegetable,

we always have carrots.

921

:

So I can always, so right there,

no brainer meal for my son.

922

:

worst comes to worst.

923

:

Bowl of cereal for dinner.

924

:

if I'm being honest, but

some other no brainer meals.

925

:

cause I just always have

certain things on hand.

926

:

Like some nights we do cheese quesadillas

again with carrots, you can always

927

:

have frozen meatballs, dry pasta

and jarred sauce and frozen peas on

928

:

hand, and then you've got spaghetti

and meatballs with peas, so having.

929

:

No brainers for that night that

you described, you came home from a

930

:

girl scouts had been a long day, You

need those staples in the house for

931

:

the no brainers for when life goes

932

:

sideways or you had something planned

and it didn't work out and just relieving

933

:

some of that mental pressure for yourself.

934

:

So we're going to come

up with some staples.

935

:

We're going to find out some more likes.

936

:

And we're gonna think about mindset.

937

:

I see a real plan here.

938

:

I can feel a little bit

of nervousness from you.

939

:

What do you, what are you feeling?

940

:

Track 1: I'm looking forward

to just going forward with it.

941

:

all of it sounds really doable and,

and I know there are places to grow

942

:

and expand, like after I have more

of this, like map, , it's like,

943

:

how about the map to my kitchen?

944

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: that's perfect.

945

:

And we're gonna, we're gonna

do some information discovery.

946

:

I think as far as getting

this ball rolling,

947

:

I have such a

948

:

Track 1: we're, rolling it.

949

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703:

We are rolling it.

950

:

and I am really excited.

951

:

Track 1: so grateful for you, Sarah.

952

:

This is really helpful to me.

953

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Oh, I love this.

954

:

Thank you,

955

:

Track 1: and I also want to say that

because I've been a listener of No

956

:

Shame in the Home Game, I also think

back to other suggestions you've made.

957

:

I'm sorry I forget the guest's name,

but she was living out, like doing a lot

958

:

with her kids out In the, from the car.

959

:

And you're like, use the car.

960

:

I'm like, I need to equip my car

with, I am at least getting things

961

:

in the house as staples, like much

better because I can stop by the

962

:

grocery store at the rink days.

963

:

And, like the pickup from Harris

Teeter, three days a week, I have

964

:

an opportunity to press the button

that says, pick it up at three, So I

965

:

want to make my car like, who is it?

966

:

Is it Alex or?

967

:

Yeah,

968

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: Yes,

969

:

Track 1: anyway, so I have some

goals around like past episodes.

970

:

sara_3_01-23-2024_090703: It's beautiful

and it's all about trying things on.

971

:

Seeing what works and meeting

this is why I work my work.

972

:

I do is individual.

973

:

It's meeting you where you are.

974

:

It's not a one size fits all right.

975

:

You can take attributes of what

works for Alex, but probably

976

:

not all of what Alex is doing.

977

:

So it's like finding those.

978

:

Those little nuggets in creating your

plan that works for you and there

979

:

is a plan and we are going to find

it and that's why we're here and I'm

980

:

so excited.

981

:

Track 1: Yay.

982

:

Thank you.

983

:

Mhm.

984

:

Sara: Well, I hope you all

enjoyed meeting Teresa.

985

:

That was episode one.

986

:

We will continue on with her journey

in episode two, after we finished

987

:

meeting Tyra, it may not be exactly

what you're going through, but there

988

:

might be something that resonates that

helps you either feel comfortable,

989

:

more comfortable in your situation.

990

:

Give yourself a little bit of

permission to relax, or maybe

991

:

you'll hear some solutions that

also work for you and your household

992

:

Lacey: We will get back to Teresa

in her second episode and you'll see

993

:

how her journey continues to evolve

and her life continues to evolve.

994

:

There are new challenges and things

that pop up because that's life.

995

:

Sara: right?

996

:

I mean, that is so often when

you read or hear solutions.

997

:

It's my thought is always, yep, that's

perfect in a vacuum, but what about

998

:

when we're talking about real life?

999

:

And yes, that's what I love about working

with clients is I like reassuring them.

:

00:51:56,655 --> 00:51:57,105

No, no.

:

00:51:57,105 --> 00:51:58,325

Like this is life.

:

00:51:58,325 --> 00:52:02,265

We have to keep finding that solution

that works with what's happening.

:

00:52:02,605 --> 00:52:04,085

Cause it's never static.

:

00:52:04,085 --> 00:52:09,685

We can't freeze frame everything, figure

it out and then push play and resume.

:

00:52:09,965 --> 00:52:12,355

Yeah, we have to keep

pivoting and adjusting.

:

00:52:12,445 --> 00:52:14,435

And yeah, Teresa is.

:

00:52:14,810 --> 00:52:16,290

The perfect example.

:

00:52:16,980 --> 00:52:21,410

Lacey: Sarah as our listeners know, we

like to end with a moment of gratitude.

:

00:52:21,460 --> 00:52:22,290

Sara: I've, I've got mine.

:

00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:26,070

I've actually got a lot, but I'm going

to pick one for the sake of time.

:

00:52:26,276 --> 00:52:29,066

I love an automatic car wash.

:

00:52:29,576 --> 00:52:34,026

It brings me, it's The amount

of joy it brings me versus the

:

00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:36,226

amount of work to make it happen.

:

00:52:36,246 --> 00:52:40,936

It's so disproportionate in a beautiful

way that I can't even like just

:

00:52:40,946 --> 00:52:42,936

thinking about it makes me happy.

:

00:52:43,606 --> 00:52:49,586

So I went and got my car washed today

and I just to have it automatic,

:

00:52:49,606 --> 00:52:51,006

you don't have to do anything.

:

00:52:51,046 --> 00:52:52,396

It just happens.

:

00:52:53,146 --> 00:52:56,276

And then you're in there and

it's kind of dark and cozy.

:

00:52:56,276 --> 00:52:59,496

And then you emerge and it's just clean.

:

00:53:00,246 --> 00:53:03,146

I love those 60 seconds.

:

00:53:03,496 --> 00:53:07,006

And I can't even tell you usually

I sing a happy car wash song.

:

00:53:07,426 --> 00:53:08,386

I didn't today.

:

00:53:08,386 --> 00:53:12,666

I just savored it, but

that was my moment of joy.

:

00:53:12,676 --> 00:53:15,356

It was just, I got to get my car washed.

:

00:53:16,106 --> 00:53:19,956

And I really, and Lacey's

trying not to laugh at me.

:

00:53:20,156 --> 00:53:24,436

She really wants to make fun of

me, which is fine, which is fine.

:

00:53:24,656 --> 00:53:25,096

Lacey: no, I.

:

00:53:25,106 --> 00:53:25,436

don't.

:

00:53:25,506 --> 00:53:26,706

I'm actually over here.

:

00:53:26,706 --> 00:53:29,346

This is how I feel when

an automation works.

:

00:53:30,036 --> 00:53:35,016

I see the same feeling in you that

like, when I can get technology to do

:

00:53:35,016 --> 00:53:37,866

something for me, this is the joy that I

:

00:53:38,166 --> 00:53:41,306

. Sara: But now I understand that

you truly do understand that.

:

00:53:41,461 --> 00:53:43,941

Car wash joy that I have.

:

00:53:44,556 --> 00:53:46,476

Lacey: I really, really can.

:

00:53:46,976 --> 00:53:47,916

100%.

:

00:53:48,116 --> 00:53:49,256

feel it in my bones.

:

00:53:49,896 --> 00:53:56,116

I also am giggling at myself because

washing my car isn't even on my radar.

:

00:53:56,866 --> 00:53:58,676

So I'm like, oh, I should do that

:

00:53:58,751 --> 00:54:03,691

Sara: Well, to be clear, to, to be

clear, it's a Christmas gift I receive.

:

00:54:03,831 --> 00:54:07,631

It's a three month pass and

I use it during the snowy.

:

00:54:08,051 --> 00:54:12,561

Months because we put so much salt on our

roads and then you get that thing where

:

00:54:12,561 --> 00:54:16,361

you bump up against your car and then

you get white dust all over your clothes.

:

00:54:16,731 --> 00:54:19,971

So it really is more of

a winter month thing.

:

00:54:20,021 --> 00:54:20,491

Yeah.

:

00:54:20,601 --> 00:54:24,551

So this is not like a, this is

not like a, I go once a day thing.

:

00:54:25,301 --> 00:54:26,931

Lacey: means you get to savor it more.

:

00:54:26,931 --> 00:54:27,141

It's

:

00:54:27,261 --> 00:54:28,911

Sara: yes, it is special.

:

00:54:29,331 --> 00:54:32,951

Did that trigger anything, moments

of joy or gratitude for you?

:

00:54:33,461 --> 00:54:36,311

Lacey: It didn't, I, but I did

think of one while we were talking.

:

00:54:36,331 --> 00:54:41,391

So last week I had to have a medical

procedure that I went under anesthesia

:

00:54:42,141 --> 00:54:47,561

and the last time I had this particular

procedure, I woke up and I was so

:

00:54:47,591 --> 00:54:53,121

angry, like I don't often feel like

anger in my body, but I remember

:

00:54:53,121 --> 00:54:56,921

waking up from the procedure and

just feeling anger in my body.

:

00:54:57,561 --> 00:54:59,101

So I went into this.

:

00:54:59,851 --> 00:55:02,671

At this time, like a little

nervous is this going to mess with

:

00:55:02,681 --> 00:55:04,821

my emotions and all that stuff?

:

00:55:05,441 --> 00:55:06,731

And they take me back.

:

00:55:06,741 --> 00:55:12,031

And as they're putting me to sleep,

the song from the Barbie movie Dua

:

00:55:12,031 --> 00:55:18,151

Lipa dance the night away song came

on and that's what I went under too.

:

00:55:18,201 --> 00:55:23,291

And when I tell you, I can't tell

you exactly what happened, but

:

00:55:23,311 --> 00:55:25,151

I, apparently I was a spice girl.

:

00:55:25,591 --> 00:55:29,081

In my anesthesia state I was Sleepy Spice.

:

00:55:29,111 --> 00:55:33,611

I made that joke, apparently, while

I was coming out of it and as I was

:

00:55:33,611 --> 00:55:40,656

coming out of it, I was the happiest,

giddiest, most joyful version of myself.

:

00:55:41,406 --> 00:55:45,976

And I'm like shooting

jokes out left and right.

:

00:55:46,046 --> 00:55:49,586

I'm like, just the most charming

version of version of myself.

:

00:55:49,856 --> 00:55:52,206

The doctor comes back

to tell me how it went.

:

00:55:52,606 --> 00:55:56,646

And as I was getting put out, he was

saying he hadn't seen the Barbie movie.

:

00:55:56,646 --> 00:56:01,396

So like literally as he's walking away,

I'm yelling, watch the Barbie movie.

:

00:56:01,446 --> 00:56:07,116

A very unexpected but delightful

experience that I still

:

00:56:07,126 --> 00:56:09,586

just giggle about to myself.

:

00:56:09,916 --> 00:56:13,626

I, I kind of want to do like the

Adventures of Sleepy Spice now.

:

00:56:13,626 --> 00:56:14,106

Sara: Okay.

:

00:56:14,226 --> 00:56:14,646

Okay.

:

00:56:14,716 --> 00:56:15,006

Okay.

:

00:56:15,006 --> 00:56:16,856

I have so many things going on in my head.

:

00:56:16,856 --> 00:56:17,116

Okay.

:

00:56:17,116 --> 00:56:20,346

First of all, Adventures of Sleepy

Spice, a hundred percent in.

:

00:56:21,096 --> 00:56:23,426

Maybe that ties into your

romance novel writings.

:

00:56:23,486 --> 00:56:23,936

I don't know.

:

00:56:24,686 --> 00:56:29,656

Second thing is what I love about this

is so participant Sarah from season

:

00:56:29,656 --> 00:56:33,586

one, she taught me the phrase, you

can't take out the bad, but you can add

:

00:56:33,586 --> 00:56:35,606

in the good and that to me, it's like.

:

00:56:36,081 --> 00:56:37,981

Yeah, you had to get this procedure done.

:

00:56:38,041 --> 00:56:42,061

Nobody wants to spend their day doing

that right but you got to add in

:

00:56:42,061 --> 00:56:46,906

that joy And that's like the perfect

situation of what I was talking about

:

00:56:47,036 --> 00:56:48,386

here with Joyful Support Movement.

:

00:56:48,386 --> 00:56:51,066

It's just yeah, let's just,

we got to keep doing life.

:

00:56:51,066 --> 00:56:54,846

We're not going to take away that medical

procedure, but let's add in a little

:

00:56:54,886 --> 00:56:57,856

sleepy spice and just make it joyful.

:

00:56:57,916 --> 00:56:59,826

I want like the adventures

of sleepy spice.

:

00:57:00,576 --> 00:57:00,876

Lacey: Yeah.

:

00:57:01,096 --> 00:57:04,606

She never makes it on stage,

but she has great intentions.

:

00:57:05,206 --> 00:57:07,296

But yeah, I just, I, I do.

:

00:57:07,316 --> 00:57:11,296

I think about, I know this sounds

silly, but like I have in the days

:

00:57:11,306 --> 00:57:18,126

since thought about how joyful I was in

that moment and how I'm like that's the

:

00:57:18,126 --> 00:57:20,416

Lacey I want to be out in the world.

:

00:57:20,426 --> 00:57:25,926

She is giving and not

afraid to make a joke.

:

00:57:25,936 --> 00:57:27,236

She's just happy.

:

00:57:27,296 --> 00:57:32,336

My just off anesthesia Sleepy

Spice Lacey is now the Lacey

:

00:57:32,336 --> 00:57:35,166

that I am always striving to be.

:

00:57:35,316 --> 00:57:38,086

Sara: That's a really long bumper

sticker, but that would be hilarious.

:

00:57:38,836 --> 00:57:42,166

Lacey: And I, the other thing is,

it's also so funny because I have

:

00:57:42,166 --> 00:57:47,246

had a recent I just really out

of nowhere, I've loving Dua Lipa.

:

00:57:47,246 --> 00:57:51,606

Like I've never particularly was

into her before, but recently, like I

:

00:57:51,606 --> 00:57:53,786

watched her and Seth Meyers get duped.

:

00:57:54,076 --> 00:57:58,256

Do their day drinking and for some

reason that has made her so endeared

:

00:57:58,296 --> 00:58:01,816

to me and I didn't request this song.

:

00:58:02,036 --> 00:58:06,706

It just came on and so this is where

I'm just like the universe is giving

:

00:58:07,206 --> 00:58:10,586

for me and I am thanking it loudly.

:

00:58:10,996 --> 00:58:13,406

Sara: That is awesome.

:

00:58:13,916 --> 00:58:16,456

Lacey: I told it to Joe and he

was like, did you request that?

:

00:58:16,456 --> 00:58:17,416

I was like, I did not.

:

00:58:17,946 --> 00:58:18,526

I did not.

:

00:58:18,586 --> 00:58:21,946

It's just beautiful accidents and

I'm going to take every one of

:

00:58:22,206 --> 00:58:23,076

Sara: I love that.

:

00:58:23,136 --> 00:58:25,326

Oh, that makes my heart so happy.

:

00:58:25,386 --> 00:58:25,956

I love that.

:

00:58:26,706 --> 00:58:30,696

Lacey (2): Next week our listeners are

going to get to meet Tyra, our third

:

00:58:30,696 --> 00:58:34,151

participant, you'll get to hear more

of Therese's story in a couple of weeks.

:

00:58:35,144 --> 00:58:36,224

Sara: Thank you, Lacey.

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About the Podcast

Show artwork for No Shame in Our Game
No Shame in Our Game
Where Self-Help Meets Community Support

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About your hosts

Profile picture for Sara Kelly

Sara Kelly

Sara runs Your Aligned Home as a Home Management Consultant. Translation- let's get your home running smoother so you have time for the things you love!
Her combination of optimizing systems, a compassionate ear, and the desire to help others led her to this work.
Although she helps with all things inside the home, any free time is spent outside the home. She usually has dirt under her nails and a hat on her head ready to be outdoors.
Don't ask this gal for perfection, that is not her jam. She is in it to spark joy one home at a time and let the goodness ripple from there!
Profile picture for Lacey Tomlinson

Lacey Tomlinson

Lacey Tomlinson transforms life's messiest moments into meaningful connections. As a mother, entrepreneur, and chronic illness advocate, she founded the Joyful Support Movement after her own health journey forced her to rebuild her life authentically. Through podcasts, courses, and community building, Lacey helps others navigate their "messy middle" without shame or perfection, because she believes everyone deserves genuine support. Her philosophy? "Life's better when we stop pretending and just embrace the plot." With master's degrees in Communication and Instructional Design, she combines professional expertise with raw human experience to create spaces where vulnerability is celebrated, authentic stories are shared, and people find the support they need.